I have been so completely humbled in so many ways lately; turns out that a lot of the ways I have viewed the world in the past have been completely wrong. Not only wrong, but actually also narrow-minded and judgmental!
Now, nobody likes to hear that- if a stranger just walked up and told you matter-of-factly all the ways in which you see the world incorrectly, I have a strong intuition that you would either laugh in their face or punch them in the face depending on how you respond to conflict. Thankfully, I have heard and learned these things from God over about the past year or so and He has a way of correcting you that brings you to a place of thankfulness and joy when He’s done instead of defensiveness.
Example one: I’ve always been the independent woman type who certainly doesn’t need a man to fulfill her and had no desire for all that gushy stuff that made me want to puke anytime I was in the mere presence of a pair of lovebirds. I boldly declared that I would never marry, that I was perfectly happy and satisfied on her own, and that I couldn’t even live out my purpose if I had to be slowed down by another. As it turns out, I am officially engaged to be married as of about a week ago… so much for that! Not only was I adamant against relationships, but I was incredibly judgemental about missionary couples saying that they could never truly get to know each other in something so far from “normal” life such as the World Race. Guess where my fiance and I met? Yep! The World Race! I also thought that long distance relationships were stupid and doomed to fail. Guess who was long distance right up until we became engaged? Right again! And of course I would straight scoff at anyone who had a short engagement and roll my eyes at the idea that anyone could just know- Guess who is going to be engaged only just over 3 months? Me, of course.
I also didn’t agree with many teachings on spiritual gifts, miracles, spiritual warfare or really anything that didn’t fit my narrow view on what Christianity and spirituality should look like. Now guess who is working for an organization that believes we serve an infinite God who does some pretty creative, radical, and sometimes odd things to love His children and draw them to His saving grace? Oh yeah, that’s me too! Honestly, God speaks in some downright weird and even uncomfortable ways to get His message across. Have you ever read the Bible?! Bodies of water parting, donkeys talking, bushes burning, people rising from the dead, fire falling, bread appearing in the desert, demons possessing, prophecies all over the place, and tons of healings- these are some pretty stretching things. And we can’t really use the “But it’s in the Old Testament!” excuse, because the Bible explicitly proclaims all these and greater things are for anyone who follows Christ- aka any CHRISTian. I’ve experienced some pretty crazy stuff that no longer allows me to hold the view that we worship and serve a God who is far-off, inactive, and even a fraction normal.
These are just two examples, but believe me when I tell you that these are pretty indicative of all areas of my life currently. I try to compartmentalize and sort the world into neat boxes and make sure that everything is either black or white, but I am learning more and more that I live in a world of color! I can see that God has very purposefully arranged events in my life that directly challenge my beliefs and assumptions- He has taken everything that I have thought to be true and then shown me that there are two sides to every story. Now I get to do life with the most amazing man who loves me so well, makes me laugh until I cry on a regular basis, teaches me about the world and God more than he knows, and inspires me just by living his life. My spiritual life has radically changed as God shows me He doesn’t want me to just learn about who He is, but to experience that in a real way. As it turns out, I definitely don’t know everything and that’s a good thing!
The most amazing part about this long lesson in humility is that I find only joy and thankfulness at the end of it. I love admitting that I was completely wrong in all of these things because I have gotten so many gifts that I never even knew I wanted or how much I would love them. In the past 9 months since my World Race I have had two major surgeries, worked as a Pharmacy Technician, moved to Oklahoma, solo road-tripped across the country for a month, completed a leadership internship at the largest church in America, moved back north again, gotten engaged, moved to Georgia, and am starting a new ministry and job. That is a whole lot of change in a short amount of time and that’s just the overview! Pretty much all of these things I didn’t want at one time or another, but God has been so faithful to ask me to take steps forward and to just trust Him. I have been absolutely floored to see all the fruit from simple obedience and while it has been a tough season, I have grown more than I ever imagined or have before.
Like I mentioned, I am starting a new adventure here in Georgia: I get to work at Adventures in Missions as a Mobilizer. Adventures in Missions is a Christian ministry that sends thousands of people on mission trips every year- with a focus on prayer and discipleship, the goal is to see lives radically transformed by God. As a mobilizer, I get to prepare squads to be on the field from that very first phone call accepting them on the trip all the way through launching them into the mission. I’ve only been at it for 5 days now, but I can tell that this is a job an environment that fits me and will allow me to both give my talents as well as allow me to continue to grow in leaps and bounds. I’m so incredibly thankful to be called here and can’t wait to see all the stories that I will get to be a part of!
So, as it turns out, humility isn’t always painful. That initial blow to your pride can be staggering, but if it’s humility that is God-breathed it will bring life in the most dramatic and unexpected ways. I’m sitting here in a Starbucks trying to wrap my head around all that has happened and how I even got here to Georgia where I’m writing this blog. I am filled with so much joy and thankfulness that I can’t wipe the smile off my face, even when my table neighbor clearly is starting to think I’m a little concerning. God has given me favor where I deserved none, life where I was dead, wholeness to my broken pieces, and given me a direction when I was lost- I honestly can’t put into words all of these experiences and how they have changed me and my world.
Today I walk into the future with joyful anticipation because it turns out that life with God is the most ridiculous adventure!
